CARNAL NATION

When the good folks in the family values crowd just can't say anything else to convince you that homosexuals will bring about the end of civilization as we know it, they can always pull out their ace in the hole: "But it's UNnatural!!!" That's been a reliable standby in the rhetorical lexicon of the homophobe for eons, but unfortunately, scientific research says it just ain't so. Nathan Bailey, a researcher at the University of California, Riverside, says that you can find same-sex sexuality not only in humans and the occasional penguin or bonobo, but in almost any animal species you can name. Bailey co-authored a review of research that has just been released, showing that not only is same-sex activity widespread, but it has different purposes in different species. While male fruit flies might court other male fruit flies because they are genetically unable to distinguish between sexes, same-sex couplings between male bottlenose dolphins act as a method of group bonding. He also notes that female Laysan Albatrosses can form lifetime pairs. Now that we know about all the deviant same-sex coupling going on among animals, Animal Planet can probably expect a boycott from the American Family Association any day now.