CARNAL NATION

On Wednesday, the House of Representatives passed legislation that would add sexual orientation and gender identity to the list of categories covered under federal hate crime law. The Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act, also known as the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Act, will also provide authorities at the state and local levels with federal resources to combat hate crimes. Gay rights groups have been trying to get this legislation passed for over a decade, but it could never quite get the votes needed until now, despite the obvious need. Violent crimes based on sexual orientation constituted 16.6 percent of all hate crimes in 2007, with 1,265 reported for the year.

We applaud the House's passage of the bill. But we'd also like to point out some of the unintentional comedy that occurs with the due process of law. No, we are not referring to Rep. Virginia Foxx's (R-NC) absurd allegation that Matthew Shepard's death had nothing to do with the fact that he was gay. That's not funny - it's just plain sad. Rather, we are referring to Rep. Alcee Hastings (D-FL), who was required to read on the floor of the House a list of the sex acts that are not included in the bill. He apologized to the transcribers before launching into a list of sex acts that might have you running for the bedroom or the dictionary or both. Asphyxiphilia, apotomnophilia, coprophilia, exhibitionism, and toucherism were just a few. Though a bit flustered, Rep. Hastings did note, "We can’t legislate love, but we can legislate against hate."

Watch the hilarious video after the jump.