CARNAL NATION

In those moments where you know you could do something, anything, and probably get laid, but can’t seem to do it: you need some game. As in, here are the rules, now roll the dice and make a move.
 
That moment when you’re flirting, having a good time, starting to realize, hey, something really could happen here, if only I could play my cards right … that moment is terrifying! There’s no magic thing to say, no perfect line that will tried-and-true seal the deal (especially when you’re gay and flirting with straight folks … that adds another whole dimension of complication).
 
So here are the rules, according to me.*

• If you think someone is flirting with you, they probably are.
• If you think you have a chance to get in someone’s pants, you probably do.
• If you find yourself wavering, fake it till you make it – ask yourself: “if I was a smarter, sexier, more suave version of myself, what would I say or do right now?” Then, do or say that.
• The person you’re flirting with is flirting back because of how you’re uniquely expressing yourself, and, therefore, they are interested in YOU. That means that however you might express yourself to getg to the next stage of the game is the right thing to say.
• Everybody likes to be wanted. Your flattery, when sincere and authentic, will be a boost in self-esteem if nothing else.
• What’s the worst that could happen? They say NO. Totally not a big deal. Sometimes it’s awkward, sure – so what.
• If someone is not into you, don’t take it personally. The people you want to sleep with should also want to sleep with you. Otherwise, duh, it’s probably gonna suck.
• Practice being rejected. Find someone you are sure is out of your league and flirt, talk him up, buy him a drink, see if you can get his number.
• Assume everyone will say no and you will probably not get to the next stage. Appreciate whatever stage (talking, flirting, touching, making out, fucking, relationship) that you’re at.
• Always try to get to the next level. Be kind and clear and respectful. If you feel resistance, back off, let it go, try again with someone else.
• Fake it till you make it.

 
Dude, you’re not making a move because you’re scared. And that’s where the roll of the dice comes in: it’s a risk to make a move. You could throw the dice and get snake eyes and get a big GAME OVER sign flashing above your head. Or, you could get the perfect roll, end up with a blow job or a quick one-night-stand fuck or a series of great fucks or a boyfriend or even a potential long-term relationship.
 
So then, roll the dice. You might loose the money you put down, but you might win big. You never know what could be inside of one of these opportunities that you keep missing – isn’t it time to find out?
 
* These rules apply only to smart, observant people and not assholes. Believe only what rings true for you, and adapt as needed.