Are you a good sexual citizen of the world?
Yes, I believe we can be better sexual citizens—and it has nothing to do with how accomplished of a bedroom performer you are or how cultured (or bizarre) your sexual interests are. It's about wanting a better world to actualize individual happiness, health and fulfillment. It's about understanding that sexuality is part of the complex matrix of variables contributing to states of individual and collective misery or joy.
You are probably already a good citizen of the Earth, as well as a socially-conscious member of your community. Do you recycle, compost, use your own shopping bags, eat locavoriously (food grown locally), buy organic, grow veggies, cycle to work and generally reduce your carbon footprint? Perhaps you even volunteer, vote in every single election, support charities and join protests? You do, don't you? You fabulous do-gooder!
Since you're already in the habit of striving to make the world better, why not add sexuality as a dimension of your daily dose of good?
Below you'll find some ideas on how to commit random acts of sex-positive agitation. They are small actions and subtle agitations. No life changes required. Some may push your own comfort levels and challenge your preconceived ideas and habits, but that's part of growing as good citizen. Composting wasn't the easiest thing initially for many of us either. Regardless of how stealthy or not, the actions should be made with wit and cheekiness. Accompanying any of these ideas with humor, levity and a mischievous grin can bring great success. Big thanks to my readers who provided some of these ideas. If you have ideas to add, please post them here!
Santa, The Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy and You:
If you find yourself staying at a hotel that supplies a bible in each room, tuck a packet or two of condoms in it when you check out. Flavored condoms just might get people thinking about what sort of sexual activities could be made better with little extra tastiness.
Got teenage kids? Stash the bathroom drawer with condoms, dental dams, gloves and a good safer-sex info booklet. Let them know it's there. Make sure to check and resupply as needed.
Offer condoms to homeless youths. Small paper bags make the transaction smooth. This is a high-risk group that has a chance for turning it around with a little help with risk reduction. If you're not keen on the idea of giving "handouts" of money to the homeless, why not give condoms? It's even better if you include cards from the local youth shelter or free STI testing clinics.
Be a Sex-Positive Consumer:
Recycle or properly dispose of your vibrator batteries. Don't put your batteries in regular trash! Of over three billion batteries sold in the US, many of them lovingly power vibrators and other pleasure toys. Sadly, most of them end up in the landfills, leaching out and contaminating the soil and ground water, or in incinerators spewing out invisible poisons into the air. These deadly toxins include mercury, lead, cadmium, and nickel.
Where to recycle batteries: Many, but unfortunately not all, municipalities have recycling centers that accept batteries. You can locate them through sites such as Earth911 and Environmental Health and Safety Online. Many independent and DIY stores, such as Cliff's Variety in San Francisco, will take them back as well. I called Home Depot and Lowes but disappointingly neither engage in any company-wide battery recycling programs. Get double karma points for being a good sexual and green citizen by taking your batteries for recycling at your local sex-positive stores. Many of them have actively initiated proper disposal programs. In just a few minutes of phone calls to my favorite erotic boutiques I was able to gather a quick list of such stores.
- Sugar (Baltimore)
- The Pleasure Chest (Chicago)
- Tool Shed (Milwaukee)
- Come As You Are (Toronto)
- Early to Bed (Chicago)
- Smitten Kitten (Minneapolis, Denver)
There are many more, I'm sure. Give your favorite shop a call and ask if they do this. If not, agitate some more, and ask them to start such a program.
Choose rechargeable batteries for your toys. This saves you money and keeps the toxins out of the environment. Of course, their effectiveness will die out at some point. When that happens, turn them in for proper disposal and recycling as you would any other battery.
Choose non-toxic, body safe and non-exploitative sex toys. Not all sex toys are made equally. The Coalition Against Toxic Toys has some great information on this, including videos. Phthalates are seriously scary. It's what makes the jelly-type toys soft. If your toy smells like a shower curtain, it's got Phthalates esters in it. The stuff is considered most probably carcinogenic for humans. Cheaply-made toys fall under "Novelty Use Only" so they aren't regulated for even the most basic health standard. Eww. Porous toys can harbor and grow bacteria like an old jar of yogurt left out on the counter for days. Do you want to stick that into your precious places? Finally, many of the cheap toys are cheap because they're manufactured in countries where atrocious sweatshop labor is common and work them in inhumane conditions.
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