Why It's Important for Dommes to Go to Dominatrix School
Not every Dominatrix receives their skills and education in the same way, but a Domme without some form of proper mentoring is like a firearm in the hands of an untrained gun user: the potential for bad things to happen increases exponentially. When these same Dommes then dole out advice to others online, the impact of their misguided approach to BDSM contributes negatively to the culture they are representing. When I read the article "How to Enjoy Extreme Smothering Without Fatally Suffocating Your Boyfriend," I was disappointed to see how the Domme answered the question:
Just like athletics, BDSM is way more a mental game than a physical one. What I mean is that "hard skills" like flogging, caning, cock and ball torture, rope bondage, etc. are easier to learn than the "soft skills" like communication, awareness and responsibility for interpersonal dynamics, and respect for the power of their craft. The "soft skills" take longer to fully grasp as they are less tangible than the black-and-white nature of physical safety. Also, as a kinkster I know well says time and time again, "Sex is 90% fiction and 10% friction."
The only way to master these skills is to be educated properly and practice consistently. Just like a young therapist or doctor in training, a fresh Domme needs mentoring and feedback. The author of this article has a bio online in the form of a feature article and I gather from what she has written that her training to become a Domme centered primarily around financially driven motives. Now, don't get me wrong: the business end of sex work training is essential, but is hardly sufficient knowledge or motivation in itself and it certainly does not foster development in either soft skills or hard skills.
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