Keeping It Wet: The Smart Shopper's Guide to Lube
Lube is your friend. Lube can make all sorts of sex and sensual play better. If you're not using lube now, or if your current lube is just ho-hum, go out and try something new. It's probably the cheapest and most sound investment you can make for your sex life.
Choosing lube, however, may not be the easiest thing. Most people just figure it out as they go but that's not the smartest way. How to select the one that's best for you is not something covered in sex ed, Consumer Reports or most personal care publications. So where do you go for solid information? Maybe you stick to a brand that a lover turned you on to and you're happy settling with that. If you're blessed with friends with whom you can chat about the nitty-gritty of the bedroom, they may recommend their favorite brands. But lube preference is so personal that one person's miracle lotion may be another person's irritant. Your doctor? No. Sadly, most physicians and health practitioners, including gynecologists and urologists, are tragically under-informed and give poor lube advice, if any at all. Online shopping yields pretty pictures of the bottles and labels, but no way to try the products, so that's a crapshoot.
At some point, you'll need to go hunting for lube at brick-&-mortar stores. Depending on where you shop, you may be faced with a paltry dust-covered selection shelved in some corner, or a looming wall of a thousand lubes with no information, or shelves full of potions, all promising ecstasy. If you're lucky there might be a sales staff who actually gives a hoot, but that's unlikely at grocery stores, pharmacies and porn mega-shops. If at all possible, go to places where they have tester bottles available. If there are sex-positive boutiques in your area go there. Sex toy home party services (aka "fuckerware parties") fill the gaps in places where there are no sex-positive shops. Be aware, however, that merchandise quality and level of staff knowledge varies wildly.
Now it's time for the initial screening to find that lube that's best suited for you. Here's my seven-step process to do at the store to narrow down the choices and make the most intelligent selection.
Midori's 7 Steps of Lube Selection:
What you'll need: Go to the store's lube tester section armed with moist towellettes or tissues.
*If there are no testers available at the store, ask them to make testers available. Smart stores interested in a profit will jump on this suggestion. Otherwise, see if they sell mini packs or trial sizes. Then buy a variety of lube in the smallest available size, take them home and follow the following seven steps. If the lube fails at any step with a "no" vote from you or your lover, it's out of the running immediately. Just move on to the next lube.
The Seven Steps are:
Step 1 - Read the Label
Step 2 - Initial Texture
Step 3 - Slipperiness Endurance
Step 4 - Bouquet
Step 5 - Taste
Step 6 - Allergy test
Step 7 - Bedroom Test