CARNAL NATION

When you're a purist and refuse to take your religious crazy in anything other than the undiluted, economy-sized, straight-round-the-bend variety with "Made in America" stamped right on the front of the bottle in big red letters, you rarely have to go any further than the Westboro Baptist Church. Comprised almost entirely of Fred Phelps and his family, the WBC has been causing headaches for gays, lesbians, and anyone who can even be remotely considered sane since 1991, when they first started travelling around the country picketing the funerals of AIDS victims with signs that said "God hates fags." They also showed up at the funeral of Matthew Shepard, the funerals of American soldiers killed in Iraq, and in a recent show of desperation, high school productions of Rent.

Now, The Advocate and blogger Gossip Boy are speculating that Phelps and his followers are planning the ultimate attention-grabber: a mass suicide.

What makes them think that Phelps has gotten tired of the hate-filled lifestyle and wants to do the Jonestown thing? The WBC blog recently printed a 2,100-word "field report" filled with their trademark hate which bids farewell to "your filthy land" and says that it's time for them to leave.

Frankly, the post is so incoherent and loopy that it's hard to parse exactly what it's trying to say. It could be read as an extended suicide note—but the WBC could also see such an act as redundant, expecting to be caught up by God just before he rains down his wrath on the rest of us. Or, maybe they just bought a condo in Florida and plan to hang up their signs. However, as Gossip Boy points out, the church has fallen on hard times lately:

Westboro recently lost a massive lawsuit and are bordering on bankruptcy. Their protests have resulted in a backlash from parties well beyond gays and lesbians. Their dynamic leader Fred Phelps is in bad health and some claim near death. Now they want to end their mission and go be with God.

If anything, Phelps is already in his own little hell. He's irrelevant. The country, even the fundamentalists, left him behind a long time ago. We hope that he and his followers stick around for a long time so that they can see just how little their hate ultimately meant.