World's Oldest Sex Toy Still Rock Hard After 28,000 Years
What's 8 inches long, ribbed, and still hard after 28,000 years? Why, an ice-age dildo, of course. Scientists at the University of Tübingen in southern Germany have just pieced together from several fragments what is believed to be the world's oldest sex toy—at least one that was, as the British say, purpose built. The fragments were found in a complex of caves near Ulm, Germany, where a colony of modern humans are known to have lived almost 30,000 years ago.
The reconstructed stone phallus is highly polished, which, according to scientists, is the best evidence they have that the tool was used as a sexual aide. In addition, the dildo has carved rings on the upper side, further suggesting its erotic intent. However, scientists point out that the rock likely had multiple uses, particularly for lighting fires. The surface of the phallus shows evidence that it was used as a striking stone for flints to create sparks. Given these multiple uses, one wonders if this ancient dildo also gave rise to the long human tradition of sexual double-entendres. Quest for fire, anyone?
Scientists also point out that such representation of male sexuality from this period are quite rare. Small stone carvings of the female body with exaggerated breasts are quite common, as in the case of the famous Venus of Willendorf (pictured left). While those female carvings may also have been used as an erotic enhancement, it would have only been a visual aid whereas the dildo clearly had a more active role in the life and (good) times of the ancient people of Ulm. There is no evidence as to which gender (or both) might have used this tool, but we suspect, given human nature, that keeping warm at night was an equal opportunity venture., Scientists believe the 8-inch stone was likely discarded after it broke. That must have been a dark day in the cave.
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