CarnalNation

I recently entertained an old friend from out of town. It was the first time I’d seen her since morphing into a sexologist. Her question, sincerely asked, was, “Why? What drew you to this work?” I almost fell out of my chair from shock, thinking, “c’mon, isn’t it obvious?” But my friend delights in taking conceptual tweezers to the most intricate details of all and every action and thought and there were many things I’d never shared with her. 

Like the large “17 Reasons Why!” sign that once loomed over Thrift Town at 17th and Mission in San Francisco, I find myself installed at the crossroads of sexological inquiry and practice. However no one (except me) really knows the whole story of “why.” Aside from the obvious fact that sex has always interested me (and a few other people I know), here are some reasons and major influences, at least 17 of 'em. They’re in no particular order of precedence or importance.

1. I’m Privileged to Have the Broadest Possible Training in Human Sexuality
When I found out there was a place—the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality—that offered that kind of education, I beat the quickest possible path to its doors.  

Though we shouldn’t have to depend on academic institutions to carry the torch for cultural understanding and respect for sex, at least in this country sexologists can be counted upon to give sex and human pleasure the precedence it actually deserves. This means that among the great heaping gobs of sexually broken, shamed or hurt people, those who encounter a trained clinical sexologist have a better chance for sexual healing. 

Personally, I think there should be a sexologist in every pot, or one in every garage, or under every bush, or at least rotating through street kiosks coming soon to a neighborhood near you. Or better yet, we should all be schooled in the civilized understanding of our deepest desires, physiological functioning. and gender expressions. 

2. I Meet the Most Interesting People...
From objectum sexuals to leather women, from vampires to polyamorous Aspies, everyone has a sexual tale to tell. I get to hear it all—or at least a lot of it! For me, being a sexologist means the hits just keep on comin’! 

This last weekend was a stellar example. I spent it in the company of a certain tribe of sexual pioneers and seekers and, as always, I’m both exhausted and invigorated. Best of all, I feel hope. Humans really can build and sustain loving communities while grappling with complexities and passion. All is not yet lost. 

I should also point out that even those who have not been categorized as recognizable sexual minorities have offered up their stories to me, and they are every bit as interesting. Contrary to popular cant, even the “vanilla” people have profound, passionate and/or tragic tales to share.

3. I Take the Best Field Trips
I’m always up for a sexological safari. At least this is theoretically true. In real life I have to contend with child rearing and dog walking. But given a little bit of advance notice, I’m up for almost anything! 

For example, earlier this week I was wondering if I could wangle a journalistic invitation to a bear convention or at least a “Bearlesque Show” or some other large, furry event. Being a cis-woman, I am not sure if this is feasible but, gosh darn it, I’d love to go to something like this! (And live to write about it!)

In any case, next year’s International Bear Rendezvous (“Close Encounters of the Bear Kind”) is a heavy blip on my social radar screen. I have between now and Feb. 12-21, 2011, to figure out a way to get inside. Readers, ideas?