CARNAL NATION

As Gavin Newsom infamously said on tape, "it's gonna happen whether you like it or not." Take that Miss California. Anyway, here are the latest updates on same-sex marriage from various locales in the U.S.

The Boston Globe reports that Sen. Dennis Damon received a standing ovation when he introduced a bill that would legalize same-sex marriage to the Maine State Legislature. Backed by 60 co-sponsors, Damon said his bill, "recognizes the worth of every man and woman among us." While it is unclear what the bill's chances for passage are, activists have set their sights on legal gay marriage in all six New England states. Three down; three to go. Currently, Massachusetts, Vermont, and Connecticut recognize same-sex marriages (Iowa, too, but it's not part of New England). One suspects that sooner or later that old Mainer saw will have to change to "Eh-yep, you can get they-ah from he-ah."

Now we move way, way, way down south to the Big Easy, where it's not so easy to get a marriage license if you're gay. The Advocate reports that two men from New Orleans, LA, are suing the state of Louisiana, claiming that their rights are being violated state constitutional ban of same-sex marriage. Kristoffer Bonilla, 33, and John Thomas Wray, 18, are asking a federal judge to strike down the constitutional amendment after they were denied a marriage license. Their suit argues, "By failing to articulate a legitimate, compelling and secular interest for the restriction on marriage, the state has necessarily established a wholly religious civil institution." State officials have responded to the suit by saying, "There's no argument. The law is crystal clear in Louisiana." Clear as bayou water? Well, we'll see about that.

Finally, we are pleased to report what is potentially the most important development in the gay marriage movement. Hollywood.com tells us that Miley Cyrus supports gay marriage. The sixteen-year-old Christian pop sensation tweeted the following to Perez Hilton: "Jesus loves you AND your partner and wants you to know how much he cares! thats like a daddy not loving his lil boy cuz hes gay and that is WRONG and very sad! like i said everyone deserves to be happy [sic]." There you have it folks: it's all over now. If Miley's on board, does anything more need to be said? No word on Hannah Montana's position on same-sex marriage.