What to Wear to the End of the World
Things are always a little sketchy, globally. They’ve been sketchy my whole life, what with Reagan and the Cold War and acid rain and global warming and shoals of plastic bottles in the Pacific. Now that we’re all depressed, let’s talk about clothes!
Obviously, when the Apocalypse comes you want to be dressed for it. You want to look good, and have a place to keep your tools and weapons and jerky. You want clothes that are sturdy, in case you’re dragged over the desert sands behind a motorcycle, and clothes that are washable, because your drycleaner is at the bottom of the new Los Angeles Sea. You’ll want clothes that are modular, because you’re likely to be wearing the same outfit for quite a while. You may want clothes that are armored, knife-proof or bulletproof, and you’ll definitely want some fucking bad-ass boots. Also, you should do your shopping as soon as possible, before the worldwide economic meltdown. For boots, get yourself some New Rocks. Sure, they cost a fortune, but you’ll never be buying another pair of boots anyway, on account of that EMP taking out all the electronic currency. If you must go with Demonia, the Stomp or Transformer models are good for kicking in zombie heads. The Transformer can be instantly weaponized with attachable spikes.
The motorcycle gear company Icon also makes fabulous high-heeled boots for your chic cycling needs:
You’ll need a tattered skirt with lots of pockets, d-skirts and straps.
I found this French-run company based in Hong Kong and Bali, Shaman Electro, by looking at the tag on the back of Editor-in-Chief Theresa Ikard’s fabulous tattered skirt.
|Or this amazing one by Cryoflesh:||
Or some demented modular
skirt plus pants thing: