CARNAL NATION

She has the voice that's been heard around the world singing "I Dreamed a Dream" last week on Britain's Got Talent. Susan Boyle stunned the world and Simon Cowell with her performance, which was a victory made sweeter by the fact that when she walked on stage, everybody thought the mousy 47-year-old Scottish woman was a joke. She's no joke, and the 100,000,000 (that's one hundred million) hits the video of her performance has garnered so far proves it. So what's next for Ms. Boyle?

The offers should come pouring in. The New York Daily News reports that she's already received her first one, but it's not for her voice. She has been offered $1 million to lose her virginity in a porn film for LA-based Kick Ass Films. "We want to get this movie shot and out while Susan has the world's attention," said Mark Kulkis of Kick Ass. "Besides, after 47 years of virginity, I'm sure Susan is also anxious to get something cracking as soon as possible." The offer also includes roundtrip airfare to Los Angeles (of course, on Virgin). If she agrees to make the film, fans will have the opportunity to choose the title for the film. No word on a possible co-star or stars.

Ms. Boyle has yet to respond to the offer. Whether or not she does do the film, the world's new favorite pasttime will become thinking of Susan Boyle porn titles. You go first: post your title in the comments section below.