CarnalNation

A British middle-aged couple who claim that sex and TV are their only luxuries are seeing at least one of those luxuries trimmed down by council chiefs.

Alan and Fiona Hay said council officials banned them from having sex between 10 p.m. and 7 a.m. after a neighbor's child told a teacher about the noise, even though their sex sessions only last five minutes because he has asthma. Alan Hay also has epilepsy and cares for 43-year-old Fiona, who has myotonic dystrophy.

The Scottish Sun reported that Alan said, "It's total nonsense. My wife and I are both disabled and I can assure you that we are not swinging from the light-shades. We are not screamers either -- we cannot believe it. Sex normally only lasts around five or six minutes due to my condition so it's not as it we are at it all night."

A neighbor who refused to be named told the media that a few people had complained about the noise, saying they are loud and "some of the talk is very dirty." A Midlothian Council spokeswoman said the county has a duty to respond to complaints regarding tenants.

Earlier this year a British women whose noisy sex sessions were officially branded anti-social behavior was warned she would face jail if she fails to stop the excessively loud lovemaking. A recent poll in New York City showed that neighbors' noisy sex is keeping many residents awake.

Is there such a thing as an acceptance volume to lovemaking? How natural or easy would it be to have quiet or noisless sex?

Clipped from: www.thescottishsun.co.uk by clp.ly