CARNAL NATION

Meet my new boyfriend, BO. He’s sleek and stylish and great in bed (or out)! His brilliant blue color matches my eyes. With the battery-powered mechanism encased in hard plastic atop a thick rubbery ring, BO looks something like an engagement ring, but as far as I am concerned, we can skip the preliminaries and head straight for the altar.

Like most boyfriends, it took a bit of work to get BO to open up, but with a little practice that developed into a "technique," he now slides right open. He fits perfectly around the shaft of my cock, but he requires some stretching and maneuvering to get around both the cock and balls. The ring itself can pinch a bit and can be rather unforgiving to the well endowed as well as the less-than-well-groomed. While I can’t do anything about the first part, I guess that means I will always have to look my best on date night.

When placed around the cock with the vibrating mechanism sitting directly on the frenum, BO brought me to my knees—literally. He was also pretty incredible with the vibrating mechanism on the perineum, especially if I squeeze my legs together.

BO operates on the same intensity, so if he becomes too much to handle (or too loud—he does have a tendency to drone on and on), you can simply turn him off: a brilliant innovation for any boyfriend, human or otherwise. For BO 2.0, I’d love to see (and feel) what varying intensities and pulses might do for me.

BO keeps his charge for quite a while, but when he runs down, he recharges rather quickly. That’s also a big plus for a boyfriend. He has a nifty little carrying case, but unfortunately, the charger is rather bulky.

BO is not cheap. I’m not sure I would have paid $79 for a “gentleman’s ring” without at least a test drive first. However, now that we’ve gotten intimate, I have to point out that you can’t put a price on love.

Bo has a friend named BOB, whom I am dying to meet. With Bo in the front and Bob in the back, I'm ready for a honeymoon three-way. Now where should we go: Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, or Iowa?