CARNAL NATION

Britain's The Mirror recently conducted an interview with singer-songwriter, model, and actor Enrique Iglesias entitled Five minutes with a... sex god. For the most part, the interview runs the typical gamut of questions about how a celebrity feels about being a sex symbol, etc. However, it seems that Mr. Iglesias is somewhat reticent about his sexy status and may even be trying to sabotage it a bit.

When interviewer Simon Button asked the singer if he'd ever pose naked, Iglesias responded, "Hell, no! I don’t look good naked. I’ve got chicken legs and my balls hang too low. I hear they get lower and saggier as you get older, and that’s fucked up. I’ll have to tuck mine into my socks." But the real meat (so to speak) of the interview came when Button quizzed Iglesias on reports that the size of his manhood would not, to paraphrase one of the singer's hits, ring many bells. Button asked, "You’ve joked about being less than well-endowed, but what’s the truth?" Iglesias replied, "Well, what guy with a small penis actually jokes about that? Having said that, it’s a good thing if I say I have a small one, because then you’ve got the element of surprise. When people see it they’ll go, ‘Wow, it’s not as small as I thought it was going to be!’ The best thing to do is start dating a girl with small hands…"

Iglesias made a few more jokes about the possibility of his penis being less than impressive, but he concluded with a very convincing, "No, I’m kidding – I’m doing OK down there." The ever intrepid Button then asked if Iglesias prefered speedos or trunks at the beach. The response: "You wouldn’t catch me in Speedos, not in a million years. What happens if you get an erection on the beach? How are you going to hide it in Speedos?" Apparently, at least according to Iglesias himself, it wouldn't be so difficult to hide after all.

Enrique Iglesias's new single "Takin' Back My Love" (is there much to take back?) and his Greatest Hits album are out now. He will be touring in the U.K. in May. He has sold over 60 million albums worldwide. He may, however, want to hire a new publicist.