CarnalNation

One does so hate to seem churlish about the internal struggles of others.

And whenever someone even semi-famous comes out, it's Good For The Gays, right?

So sure, American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken, having seen the light at the end of the closet and outed himself a little over a year ago in the pages of People magazine, no doubt deserves a warm welcome to the queer community. But seeing him widely extolled as a "gay activist" gets me in full crotchety mode. Not to seem petty, but…

It's not just my total disinterest in Idol, the middlebrow trill-fest that would no doubt have given the hook to some of my favorite singers: Nick Cave, Leonard Cohen, Patti Smith, Thom Yorke, et al.

It's not even that Aiken is so fucking late to the party. If it took him till he was past 30—six years after his Idol appearances—to fess up, well, it's taken some of us even longer than that. And unless someone closeted is actively working against the queer community, I'm not all that big on outing.

Part of my dyspeptic mood is due, no doubt, to his pre-self-outing evasiveness. He unequivocally denied being queer on multiple occasions, and then, when asked point-blank by Diane Sawyer a few years ago, huffed, "What I do in my private life is nobody's business anymore, period....I'm not spending my time with this anymore. This is a waste of my time."

Okay, sure. His homotude is an open secret, but he has a family of born-agains to deal with. He's concerned he'll lose his fan base. Maybe even his record contract. So he's defensive. Fearful, even. But that doesn't justify playing the well-known weasel game, like back in 1996 when a closeted Ellen joked to a closeted Rosie (still waving around that bearded crush on Tom Cruise) that they were both "Lebanese."

Clay claims to the decision to be open was "confusing." Really? On the one hand, there's reticence. On the other, mendacity. Doesn't take a moral genius to tell the difference. So now Aiken stops lying, and that's supposed to be his big activist credential?

In fairness, Aiken seems to have a nice sense of humor about himself, and that's a plus. He's been doing AIDS benefits all along. And though he made a big media splash a week ago by speaking to the North Carolina branch of Human Rights Campaign, it's not his fault that the HRC is so widely viewed by the queer left as a bunch of Auntie Toms, an organization whose very name and yellow equals-sign symbol are as blandly, closetedly non-explicit as you can get. If the HRC notoriously endorsed rightwinger Al D'Amato in a New York senate race, if they supported Bush 2's plan to privatize Social Security, if they hung transgender rights out to dry, well, shucks, that weren't Clayboy's doing.

It's not even his fault that we live in a culture of celebrity, that many queer people have risked more, worked harder for the cause, and accomplished more than some pop singer, but never get a shred of recognition from the HRC or People magazine or USA Today. Or that when some celeb comes out, even after an ignoble past in the closet, he or she miraculously becomes an instant spokesperson for queer rights.

But then Aiken had to go and write his own speech, because the one provided for him had slammed George W. Bush. "I don't feel like this is the place to be horribly politically charged and bash people and talk about the wrongs that have been done," Aiken pontificated. "My goal is to be hopeful, that it's time for everyone to have equal rights."

Horribly political? Honey, nobody is expecting you to be some outstanding queer theorist, like Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick singing "Unchained Melody." But get a goddamn clue: one very major reason that GLBT people might not get those equal rights anytime soon is because unbashable Bush appointed Scalia and Roberts to the Supreme Court. If anyone richly deserves to be criticized by queer activists, it's Bush and his minions. It's not "horribly" anything to point that out, Clayboy. It's just the truth. But no.…bygones! Aiken's finally out, and now it's time for equal rights. Oh, kumbaya!

If it's possible for a born-again goy to have chutzpah, Clay's got it.