CARNAL NATION

Why are you asking? Seriously, you can get the medical facts from the CDC website, so what is it you want to know?

Up to 90% of the people who have it don’t know it (and don’t have symptoms). Seventy percent of the people who got it did so from somebody who wasn’t symptomatic. It’s a crapshoot.

If your husband is taking the meds, using condoms (always, not almost always), and avoiding sex during an outbreak, he’s looking at a very low chance of infecting a partner. Therefore, how far he should go in warning people about every risk then becomes a moral/ethical question. That’s not the PC answer, but it is the real-world one. If he’s already talking about safer sex and other risks (e.g., HIV and Hep-C) with partners, then talking about herpes is not going to be a big deal. If he doesn’t already have those conversations, then herpes is going to be pretty low on his radar.

How far back in his sexual history does he need to go? Tell everybody with whom he’s had unprotected sex in the last year (Yeah, I know you’re not going to, but I have to say it).  What’s the real-world version?  Well, this is my personal view: tell anybody with whom you’re having unprotected sex (including oral); the rest are optional if you’re on the meds and religious about condom use.