CARNAL NATION

What a fine, noble, civilized question, and good for you for caring so much.

Personally, I do not dispose of any toys unless they die first or I no longer use them (in which case I pass them on to my boy, Madsen, who happily accepts all used toys), but I understand the psychic renewal process.

Those toys may carry memories, but they also carry spooge and bacteria. How does one decide what is salvageable and what must be scrapped? I suggest considering the history of said toys before disposing. You must first ask yourself these questions:

1. How many times was the toy used? I’ve had some toys that were only used once or twice and then just sit there. Pity to throw them away. If silicone, glass, or metal, you can boil them and donate to a dear friend or local anarcho-sex-positive community.

2. What was the toy used for? Sounds like a stupid question, but I’ve bought toys that never got used for their original purpose.

3. When was the toy last used? And/or when was it purchased? One of the more important questions since the amount of use would indicate how attached you may be to it emotionally or how spoogy it may well be.

4. Where has it been living? Under the bed covered in dust bunnies or in velvet pouch?

5. Why am I throwing it away? Or conversely why am I attached to it? I think we know the answer to this one: the break up.

After these questions have been answered, you may find that donating a few to be the right choice. I can assure you most queer anarcho communities would be happy to adopt as many of your toys as you would like to donate. Also, there was a recipe in On Our Backs 10+ years ago on how to melt down and remake your silicone dildoes, (a quick Google search shows no results), and I think this would be a perfect opportunity to say goodbye to your toys and have your friends make new “friends” – have a dildo making party! Don’t forget, Madsen will be happy to take them off your hands, just email me, and I’ll pass his info along.

If you still wish to dispose of one or all of your toys, perhaps you would consider a nice ritual with you, your ex, and the toy(s). Saying goodbye is a wonderful door opener to more adventure. Disposing of your toys in an eco-friendly way may not be as difficult as you think. I found many hits on my search under “recycle dildos,” including this little blog. Whatever way you choose to dispose, be sure to include a ritual of separation. Find a way to say “adios”  that will be important to both of you. Perhaps listing out all the wonderful sexual adventures you had together, saying them aloud together, and then saying goodbye to the toys. Wear fun hats and scarves, cry and laugh…after all parting is such sweet sorrow – particularly in the land of hot sex.

 

Some sex toys really do belong to the relationship, as opposed to the individuals in the relationship, so once the relationship is over, the toys gotta go. Sounds like this particular ending is a relatively easy tragedy, based on your tone; good luck with the adventures to come.

You are right to ask about the proper disposal of your sex toys, though. Some sex toys include all sorts of weird plastics, and they should be either recycled or disposed of properly, not just unceremoniously dumped in a landfill. Plastics are so hard to break down, so they should be recycled or reused if at all possible.

Recycle Your Sex Toy looks like the major option of disposing sex toys responsibly. From what I can tell, it's done by Dreamscapes in Florida, which provides sex-positive products and education. Recycle Your Sex Toy has all the details on sending in your old toys and how you could get a credit toward the purchase of some new ones.

Best of luck in your new single life!

Dear Toys R Sexy,

Did you know that there is actually an Internet site for recycling used sex toys?  RecycleYourSexToy.com—how cool is that?  Or, if you prefer, you can sell the used toys on Craigslist.  Yep, you can just list them in the “general-for-sale” section of Craigslist. Of course, as the holiday season approaches, you might want to give them to your friends – they make great stocking stuffers (tee hee).  I suppose you could walk around to your nearest urban center and give them to the “street people.”  Afterall, even the homeless get horny.  If you’re an arts-and-craft person these toys provide a great opportunity to create table decorations for parties – fake greenery, a ceramic pot, a dildo, and voila! Pecker plants and dildo bushes.

I know that some people are really grossed out wearing used clothes, so using used sex toys might seem a bit over the top, but I like to hold sex toy swap parties.  I invite all my friends to bring toys they no longer want (the top rack of your automatic dishwasher is an excellent place to clean anything washable, before you bring it to the party). We pile the toys on the floor and everyone takes whatever looks interesting.  Probably the best part is when someone finds something they’ve never seen before and asks “Who brought this and what is it?”  I don’t know what’s funnier, the real answers or the ones my very imaginative friends make up. In the crowd I run with, I’m sure your toys would be snapped up in minutes! YMMV!