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Gay Priests? No, Confused Priests

 

Researchers at New York’s John Jay College of Criminal Justice have been researching the causes of the Catholic Church’s modern tradition of priests sexualizing boys. In releasing their initial findings, they said they can’t attribute it to gay priests or seminaries for teenagers.

“We do not have data to support those assertions,” said Karen Terry, lead researcher for the $2 million study commissioned by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops. She believes that the priests had sex primarily with boys mainly because they had access to boys. “Even though there was sexual abuse of many boys, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the [priest] had a homosexual identity,” she said.

Correct.

After all, male soccer coaches who have sex with teen girls, and step-fathers who have sex with their step-daughters don’t do it because of “heterosexuality.” Such adult sexual behavior is caused by internal torment about sexuality, a collapse of boundaries, lack of empathy, a breakdown of ethics, and confusion about power…just like priests sexually exploiting boys.

The question of what defines a person as gay is interesting, and relevant to people of every persuasion, including straights. Many male public figures who have been caught being interested in other men have loudly denied they’re gay. Some are (understandably) frightened liars, but many others, such as Senator Larry Craig, are clearly telling the truth.

As Alfred Kinsey first showed Americans a half-century ago, same-gender fantasies, curiosity, desire, and the occasional fling, do not alone define someone as gay. And if an adult has sex with children who happen to be the same gender, that doesn’t define him (or her) as gay, either. It defines him (or her) as interested in children, which is its own orientation (permanent or otherwise).

The Church has more than a bad-apple-gay-priest problem. It has a who-becomes-a-supposedly-celibate-priest-anyway problem. Like the French Foreign Legion, the job description itself cannot possibly attract enough psychologically healthy people. And given the Church’s tortured, inhumane attitude about sexuality, it’s hardly the institution to heal any sexual problems revealed or developed by its shepherds (much less its flock).

What Dr. Terry’s project is almost certain to find is that the priests who sexually exploited children are a heterogeneous lot—some of them gay, most of them straight, some of them angry (some surely angry at their god), many of them lonely, and some developmentally primitive. That last sub-group will have experienced their sex with kids as a peer activity. Psychologically (although not biologically, ethically, or legally), that would be accurate.

Astonishingly, many so-called morality groups used the revelations of 2002 and beyond as an opportunity to demonize homosexuality—blithely overlooking the Church setting that was the dominant feature of every one of these exploitative interactions. Talk about chutzpah. That’s like discussing car accidents without discussing cars, or alcoholism without discussing alcohol.

People don’t do bad things because they’re gay. People do bad things because of who they are. Some of those people are blond, some are left-handed, and some are gay. Many of them lack empathy—the ability to truly understand the experience (including the pain) of others. That’s the place to start cleaning up the Church.

At the top, by the way.

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Priests and Sex

The Catholic Church is filled with sexually atrophied and stymied men. Tell why someone would go in drag in public and stand before hundreds of people proclaiming that sex is only for procreation and only permitted with the confines of heterosexual marriage. As I read the research the majority of pederasts are heterosexual men and not limited to men! From my limited knowledge it is mainly the innocence of the child that is attractive to these individuals and, therefore, it doesn't matter whether the child if male or female. It is indeed the seduction of an innocent!

I was a priest for 22 years! Not all of those years were unbearable, but the more I delved into my sexuality, my life became pure hell...drunken hell to be exact. I am gay/queer and until I had embraced who I was sexually, I was confined to an unbearable way of life, i.e. lonely, miserable, confused, and alienated. I could not be a priest and be "out" and I could not love myself because I was not being true to myself. I swore I would never enter another closet after I got sober and left the institution.

There is a great deal of hypocrisy in the Church! Double standards and double lives! Priests have lovers whether their lovers are male or female is besides the point. And leading a double life from my experience and from working with others who are attempting to do exactly that is living with a poison...gradually debilitating poison. Until the hierarchy and its priests cease the denial, all will be under suspicion and not to be totally trusted. That poison will be the Church's self-destruction.

Blaming gay men for pederasty and not recognizing celibacy as only for a very select few is only stonewalling. Until the Church becomes sex-positive and willing to admit that sex is something sacred and simultaneously enjoyed, this institution will be death-dealing and not life affirming.

I don't see this as being to

I don't see this as being to good in the kingdom of god but i'm not the person to judge.

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Marty Klein
November 22nd, 2009
Marty Klein's picture
Sexual Intelligence is republished with permission. Dr. Marty Klein is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Certified Sex Therapist, and sociologist with a special interest in public...