CARNAL NATION

As a long-time lifestyle and professional Dominatrix, I have been told over the years by extreme kink specialists like Madame Cleo Dubois and Fakir Musafar, father of the Modern Primitives movement, that I am “the kinkiest woman [they] know,” which makes me laugh and wonder how this could be possible.

Sure, as a lifestyle player I came into my kink through my unadulterated curiosity to try anything and everything out of the ordinary regarding sexual desire. I have come to relish my shoe, boot, rubber, arm-pit, gagging, medical and other fetishes. Luckily, in addition to my interest in pushing the limits of sensuality, I also eroticize other people’s turn-ons to such an extent that my boundaries are primarily limited to attitude. Bad manners will get you nowhere with me—unless it’s part of the game, of course. Furthermore, as a professional, I am honored to provide other curiosity seekers a safe place to explore sadomasochism (corporal punishment and sensation play), fantasies (CEO, Mommy, Teacher, Doctor, etc), and fetishes (big buttons, argyle socks, bug crushing, balloon popping, and pie tossing to name just a few).

In a world seemingly dominated by mainstream vanilla sex wherein wanting a spanking or anal sex makes one a deviant, I want people with all levels of interest in carnal pleasures to have safe spaces to educate themselves and to utilize that knowledge to improve their lives and society at large.  After all, pleasured people make happy people! In other words, everyone⎯from people who wish to have their lover tie them up and fuck them to those with a need to stick graduated widths of stainless steel rods in their urethras while being suspended from the ceiling⎯should find comfort in knowing that they are not alone: there are other perverted people out there.

It is my hope and intention that in exploring these issues in this column, I can correct many of the misconceptions about the realities of BDSM, kink, professional domination, and other alternative sexualities through my experiences. I will regale you with stories of wanton lust and carnal pleasures, but I will also ground them in authentic situations that will, ideally, add more depth and complexity to all those BDSM stereotypes. If we were all cookie-cutter images, the world would be a sad place indeed. Even amongst the “kink community” (I put that term in quotes due to its ambiguous and somewhat elusive existence, which I will discussed in future columns), there is often inconsistency as to what, how, and when to do what to whom. Alternative sexualities, just like genitals themselves, are distinct and definitively unique; they are not simple packages to unwrap. As this column develops, I hope to unwrap carefully and methodically a few of my own packages along the way.

One recent experience may shed light on the inception of my proclivities and give you an overview of one area of Cock and Ball Torment/Torture (CBT) called ball busting. A couple of months ago, I was interviewed on a podcast called the Unholy Matrimony Show, hosted by the completely irreverent husband-and-wife team, Rory and Lauren. They invite specialists in a variety of professions to talk about their work, but in a very tongue–in-cheek fashion. Rory, the hubby who seemed to have an inordinate interest in ball busting, asked me, “You mean there are guys who want to have their junk kicked really hard, and they pay you for that?” Well, not to simplify things too much, but in a