CARNAL NATION

Having discussed sex and language and the relationship between the two last week, I had been planning on writing about a totally different topic this week. However, after reading the thought-provoking comments left below the article (thank you to those who took the time to write them!) and feeling like there was so much more to talk about, I decided to write about sexual language this week as well.

People have written books, essays, articles and novels on the subjects of sex and language, and so I do not presume that two columns will cover everything there is to say on the subject. However, I certainly believe that such an interesting, complex topic deserves a little more column space.

As children, even before we know the full, sexual meaning of the word "fuck," we sense from those around us that it is a "bad" word. We sense it is a naughty word, an insulting one that elicits an emotional response—something that, as children, we love to get from both adults and other little people. I myself remember feeling deliciously delinquent the first time I looked up the word in the dictionary. This week, I've been thinking more about the fact that some of our favorite swear words have sexual origins and connotations. What does this say about our attitudes towards sex and our bodies? Does it say anything? The obvious swear word is "fuck," of course. As children, even before we know the full, sexual meaning of the word, we sense from those around us that it is a "bad" word. We sense it is a naughty word, an insulting one that elicits an emotional response—something that, as children, we love to get from both adults and other little people. I myself remember feeling deliciously delinquent the first time I looked up the word in the dictionary.

But why is it that swear words in our culture are sexual ones? In his 2007 book The Stuff of Thought, renowned linguist Steven Pinker discusses swearing. He argues that swear words used to be based on religious language but, as religion lost its sway over our psyches, we replaced those words with sexual or scatological ones, which still have emotion pull.

"Taboo language is a very revealing window into human emotions," Dr. Pinker has noted. "For one thing, it reveals that there is a set of concepts that people in many or most cultures find very uncomfortable to think about. Of course, swearing isn't the same in all languages. In some languages it's scatological, in some languages it's sexual, in some it's religious—but in all languages there are some concepts that are just very, very emotionally touchy.

"What we're seeing there is [that] the repetoire of human emotions carry a lot of punch, often in a negative direction. And also, there's a social dimension to all these. It's one thing to think about feces; it's another to put the thought out there and share it publically."

One swear word that is certainly shared publically all the time in the two biggest English-speaking countries in Europe—namely, Ireland and England—is "cunt." The word is used all the time, primarily between men, often because it is such a versatile, succinct, multi-purpose word. It can be used as a derogatory adjective or noun, as in "I hate that cunt" or as in "your cunting daughter," that famous line from The Exorcist. It can also be used to elicit sympathy: "I was working like a cunt," or it can be used as a term of endearment (again, primarily between men) as in, "How are you, you fat cunt?" (insert manly back slapping and beer gulping).

The combinations and phrases you can create with just the two words "fuck" and "cunt" are amazing, and often quite fun. Not only this though—they are usually stripped of all their sexual connotations, and used because, as we learned when we were children, they are bad words that can be used for emphasis and to elicit an emotional response.

I wonder though, what happens when we grow up, and only have these bad, naughty and insulting words to describe our bodies and sex? This has huge consequences, I think, on the way we think about these things, and the language (or lack thereof) we have to talk about such things with our friends and partners. How can we women look down at our vulvas with love and respect, when the primary words we have to describe them, or even call them anything, are derogatory, naughty swear words? What are people having sex with women supposed to say when they reach between a woman's thighs and want to tell her they love what's there—but "cunt" is the only word that comes to mind?

I suppose one answer, as some of you suggested, is to use biological words, such as vulva and penis, to describe those body parts. Because language and thought are so intertwined, perhaps then we can begin to view every part of our body, as just that—something natural, good and beautiful, and something that can be discussed without having to resort to swear words.