CARNAL NATION

There is nothing wrong with you. I will, however, disagree with your statement that you don’t have a sexually abused past. Reason being: we all have. Sometimes sexual abuse can come in the most horrific forms of violence, while more generally that abuse is living in an anti-sex culture such as we currently do. We have all, at times, been taught to suppress our sexuality; been told that the expression of our sexual drive is bad, or naughty, disgusting or wrong. By pulling this out, I in no way mean to denigrate the intense forms of sexual violence that abound, or especially how they have affected people’s lives, but only to provide that living in an anti-sexual culture breeds more than just the most violent abuse. And many times said abuse transforms itself into self-critique or fears of enjoying what our bodies are meant to enjoy.

Sometimes we think it’s funny or gross to touch ourselves, to explore our inner hit points. But I say we must all practice to win the game! If moving a couple fingers down toward your magical clit doesn’t turn you on, have you ever given thought to a toy? In my Bakersfieldian gay youth, I was squatting on flower vases, but considering the culture of today, a toy store like Good Vibrations, with the ultra-reviewed items handpicked for your plucking pleasure, may point your nibblies in the right direction. Toys can often bridge the gap between our own fear of touching ourselves and our craving need to, well, get off. Because toys are built to provide you with the best, most exciting stimulation out there, make sure you are in the market long enough to find the best one for you. It’s kinda like Cinderella’s shoe: the right fit makes for a magical experience. And if toys aren’t your thing and you wanted a trick (oops, partner that is), have you thought about moving toward whatever base you might consider the next step? Sometimes letting others show us how good our bodies can feel by taking away our strict control of our bodily and emotional experience will lighten the load of our self-restraint. Maybe, possibly, giving us an example of the carnal desires we suppress in ourselves. In any case, happy teasing!