CarnalNation

Larry King’s interview with Ted Haggard – the pastor of the New Life Church in Colorado Springs and the leader of the National Association of Evangelicals until his meth and rent-boy proclivities forced his ouster – on CNN Thursday night blew my mind more than the charges that brought the former tweaking queen into the spotlight in the first place.  Though he’s been making the talk show rounds to help promote Alexandra Pelosi’s The Trials of Ted Haggard, which also aired Thursday night on HBO, the real revelation is that Haggard has actually got something important to say in lieu of the predictable, anti-gay bible thumping we’ve all come to expect from the fundamentalist movement.  In fact, how Haggard views his sexuality isn’t that much different from the viewpoint I’ve advocated in Whose Gay Pride? in which I called for a reevaluation of the very definitions of gay, straight, and bi.

For as lost as Haggard is, he at least takes responsibility for his actions and truly seems sincere.  Unlike, say, the shameless James McGreevey, the governor of New Jersey until his own homo scandal forced him to step down. He wielded an out-and-proud “I am a gay American” speech like a shield, using his sexuality as a get-out-of-jail-free card (as if a gay American couldn’t possibly be a sleazebag, too!)  Come to think of it, McGreevey with all his conniving, manipulative spin would make for a much better tabloid doc subject than sympathetic Haggard, someone Larry King could have asked with a straight face, “Did you ever offer meth to Anderson Cooper?”

But I digress.  For Ted Haggard isn’t in denial any more than is James McGreevey, who now lives happily ever after with a male partner.  Haggard fully admits to homosexual desires that he refuses to act upon, saying it’s a lifestyle choice.  Well, he’s absolutely right.  Taking action is always a choice.  People take vows of celibacy; they diet; and they deny themselves pleasure all the time.  Yes, the decision to live a life that is true to oneself is undoubtedly a choice.  No hypocrisy there.

And even more heroically, Haggard sidesteps the question of whether he’s gay, straight, or bi, refusing to be placed in a box – a brave act indeed!  If more people would eschew these confining labels, we’d all be better off.  These terms (which weren’t even in existence until around a century ago!), along with strict definitions of gender, are meaningless in this day and age.  In referring to Diane von Furstenberg and Barry Diller’s marriage in my aforementioned post, I wondered why their marriage was considered a joke in so many hetero and homo circles alike.  By all accounts those two powerbrokers have been in a deep loving relationship for decades.  If they aren’t sexually attracted to one another, why is it any less of a marriage?  Happily married, hetero-identified couples that have no sexual attraction to one another don’t often have the validity of their marriages questioned.  This aspect is irrelevant!  For if sexual attraction is the defining facet of marriage, then marriage itself is an incredibly shallow institution.  (Something to think about for both Prop 8 supporters and those friends of Dorothy alike.)  Perhaps someday Darwin’s theory of evolution will apply to morality, and Haggard will be able to have the wife and the boyfriend on the side.  But until then I wish him, Gayle, and the kids nothing but the best this imperfect world has to offer. 

In other words, you go, girl!