CARNAL NATION

A man in Salem, Massachusetts, was picked up early Tuesday morning for walking down the street with a bag full of his ex-wife's sex toys, according to the Salem News.  Well, that's what he claimed, anyway, probably hoping the officers would be too grossed out to check inside.  The cops had seen 34-year old Michael Conway walking down the streets of America's Bewitching Seaport with an empty bag at 3 AM, and then walking in the opposite direction about an hour later with a full bag. 

Perhaps not surprisingly, cops did not find any dildos in the bag, but did find a wallet, a checkbook, a GPS device, lottery tickets, an iPod, a camera, jewelry, somebody's car keys, CDs, and a couple of parking tickets.  Three ransacked cars were found easily located down the street.

Joyce Motta, Conway's lawyer, said police approached the man for no reason, whereupon Conway interrupted her.  "I've got a screaming drug habit," he told District Court judge Richard Mori.