CARNAL NATION

At least two self-styled sorcerors are reported to be battling over Real Madrid winger Cristiano Ronaldo, the highest paid soccer player in history. One Spanish sorcerer named Pepe claims to have been hired by one of Ronaldo's spurned lovers to end his career. Pepe was reportedly paid 15,000 euros ($22,000) by an unnamed woman to work his magic as part of her revenge for being dumped. "She paid me to end Cristiano Ronaldo's career and I'm doing that," said Pepe. "It's a job, I have nothing against him personally, but I'll see it through." He claims to be responsible for the recent ankle injury suffered by the $132-million-dollar star of the playing field.

Enter Fernando Nogueira. who goes by the name "sorcerer Fafe." Fafe has been hired by an individual or individuals close to Ronaldo to counteract any of the spells cast by Pepe. He told a Spanish newspaper that he "burnt candles next to a photo of Ronaldo to put an end to what is being done, if it is true." Ronaldo has told the media that he expects his ankle to heal in time for him to continue his role as captain of the national soccer team of his native Portugual. The star player is slated to play in key World Cup matches against Hungary and Malta in the coming weeks.