CARNAL NATION

Didn't you always kind of suspect that the family values crowd really had a secret crush on Islamic fundamentalist regimes like the Taliban, even if they were afraid to come out and say it? Well, one mayor in England has been forthright about the fundie love that dare not speak its name. Mayor Peter Davies of Doncaster, who first came to the notice of LGBT communities when he tried to cut public funding for the town's Pride festival, commented on a series of child abuse scandals in the town by saying "The one thing that can be said about the Taliban is that they do have an ordered society of some sort and that they don't have hundreds of cases of children under threat of abuse from violent parents as we do in Doncaster." Presumably Mr. Davies never heard about the reports of girls who were sprayed in the face with acid by members of the Taliban for daring to walk to school.

When Davies's remarks were criticized, he just lept into the hole and kept digging, saying that "the Taliban at least appears to have some sort of decent sort of family affairs.... We in this country have created mayhem through lax social policies of disregard for marriage and the family and we have created mayhem in society."

Will burkhas become all the rage in Doncaster next year? Of course not. They're so... un-English. But we're sure that, given a free hand, Mayor Davies will find some more tasteful alternatives to add to the fall fashion lineup. Wimples and chastity belts for the ladies, perhaps?