CARNAL NATION

No matter in what country they happen, presidential campaigns are always a little bit dirty. A scandal has recently erupted during the campaign for the presidency of Uruguay, but this one is not about morality or even the morality of associates of the candidates but rather the alleged misappropriation of public funds for... condoms. Candidate José Mujica has been distributing 50,000 condoms with blue, white, and red packaging and labeled "Frente Amplio" (Broad Front), the name of his party (and, perhaps, a hoped-for label among Uruguayan men). In a nation where gays can openly serve in the military and same-sex couples can adopt, such a strategy is not unusual—unlike, say, the U.S. However, there is one problem. Neither Mr. Mujica nor his campaign paid for the condoms; taxpayers did.

"The problem is that they are not for a prevention campaign, but a political campaign for the party in power. They were purchased with money from the state, so it is public money used for the campaign of the government candidate," said former Deputy Health Minister Gustavo Amen Vaguetti. The cartons of government-funded condoms also came with notices explaining how to distribute them along with election ballots as well as how to complete the ballot itself. So the condom scandal begins to look less and less like an accounting or clerical error, and plausible deniability is all but impossible because the cartons were stamped 'Pepe'—Mujica's nickname and also the first name of his running mate Danilo Astori.

"We have no problem returning them to the Ministry of Health. We don't want to create any problem," said Nestor Delgado, a spokesman for the Mujica campaign. He continued, "We will continue to distribute condoms. These represented only a tiny amount compared to the 250,000 that we bought for the campaign." Not exactly a cover up. Well, there are worse ways for the public to get screwed than by condoms.