CARNAL NATION

Overall: The Devil

Challenge: 5 of Fantasies

Homework: Knight of Whips

An Aries having naughty thoughts is nothing new, but having regrets about them is.  For whatever reason this month, you are torn between getting everything you want and then feeling bad about it.  Let’s just call it sexual buyer’s remorse.  On the other hand and on a more serious note, are you dealing with a sexual addiction?  This might be the month to finally call it by its name and do something about it.  We allow ourselves to make excuses for our actions all the time: this month you are not allowing yourself that privilege.  Try and get to the bottom of things.  Without getting too therapist-like on your ass, keep a journal.  It is important to note how every action has a reaction.  You like being spanked only when you are totally drunk?  That might need looking at.  I am not here to judge you but to help you become aware.  Spend the month focusing on what triggers you—whether it is for good or bad.  It may open Pandora’s box, but in the bigger picture of things, it really is better to know how you function than to run on autopilot.

Overall: Knight of Paddles

Challenge: The Sun

Homework: Temperance

Geminis are so fun loving and whimsical that I can never have a bad time when around them.  Spontaneity is their middle name, and you just never know what to expect.  That is pretty much their MO every month but this one.  September brings something new into the Gemini’s life: planning.  You are forced to get organized and think about the future.  This situation is somewhat un-natural for you.  You want to go out and play, but instead you are focused on looking ahead to 2010.  Take the best of both worlds.  Spend some time outlining your goals for the rest of the year, but allow yourself some room to play.  As I tell many of my clients, your goal destination is point B, but who said anything about a straight line?  Take a bit of the uncomfortable planning and mix it with your fun-loving nature.  The outcome will be a stronger and sexier you.

Overall: Page of Fantasies

Challenge: 3 of Paddles

Homework: The Fool

Your birthday has passed, and you’ve handed the crown over to those practical Virgos. In true Leo fashion though, you remain the king of the zodiac.  This month is all about those fantasies you have never thought of fulfilling.  Do you secretly want to wear pink tights and high heels while your partner wears a strap-on?  I can’t believe you haven’t tried that yet.  I have a bit of advice for you, my lovely Leo: you can’t always be perfect the first time.  It is OK to be the student once in a while and hand the reins over to someone with more experience.  Allow yourself to be the fool. Try new things even though you may not know what the experience will be like.  Everyone will be so charmed by your innocence that they won’t notice your blunders.  By the end of the month, you will be showcasing all the new things you learned at the Folsom Street Faire.

Overall: Ace of Vibrators

Challenge: 7 of Whips

Homework: 5 of Whips

As your birthday quickly approaches, you find yourself yearning for new things and partners in your life.  You crave connection with others, and seriously, if you could manifest some hot sex magic in your life right now, you would be so satisfied for months to come.  Unfortunately all these desires come with some reframed old issues.  Have you been taken advantage of or abused in your past relationships?  This is the time to really look at what you have been through and not blame yourself.  Go seek help so you never become a victim again.  Remember the actions of others are their actions and not your fault.  You need to learn to stand up for what you need and to take a stand against whatever is a big NO in your book.  I pinkie swear that you are on the right path to healing and that your new found strength will guide you to the right people who will become a valuable part of your life.

Overall: 3 of Vibrators

Challenge: 6 of Fantasies

Homework: 2 of Vibrators

Long-distance love affairs can be difficult.  We all wait for that right ship to sail in, and when it does, you realize you might only be a port of call.  Patience, my dear Sag.  The right person is out there for you.  Learn to trust your instincts.  Intuition is a tool.  The more you use it, the more adept at its use you become.  Your challenge is not to fall into past patterns.  Do you fall in love because someone showers you with the right amount of attention?  Is it all about sex, all the time?  It is time for you to break some old habits.  Create a new list of things that are important to you to have in a partner and in life in general.  Keep it in your pocket.  Whenever that ship does sail in, make sure you check your list. If the new interest fails to fulfill at least 70 percent of what really matters to you, return them to sea and wait for the next vessel to arrive.

Overall: 6 of Vibrators

Challenge: 5 of Paddles

Homework: 4 of Fantasies

The key word for September for you, my dear Water Bearer, is victory.  You cannot do anything wrong this month.  You are charming, sexy, in control, and know exactly how to please the partners in your life.  The issue: you are not seeing it.  You are feeling withdrawn, alone, and tired.  It is like you have a twin out there doing all the work and getting the credit, but you are home moping.  The truth is, you are the amazing person everyone else sees.  You just need some downtime alone to find what it is that you need.  You spend so much time serving others that you have put your own needs aside.  This is the month to reclaim your self and be a little selfish.  The great thing is that since you have spent so much time in the service of others, no one will notice that you are taking some time for yourself.  Treat yourself well this month, and life will fall back into balance as summer turns to fall.