CARNAL NATION

I have always had a fascination/fantasy of using and owning a Sybian, but until my sweetie or I strike it rich, it will have to remain a fantasy. Good things come to those who wait, right?  Well, my monthly package was dropped off, and lo and behold, it was The Cone: a new toy very much based on the Sybian. This is a toy like no other. You do not insert it: you squeeze it or sit, lay, or lean on it.  Really, this toy does a lot of the work for you (we all know masturbation is a lot of work). 

The toy itself is cone shaped and made from a firm but soft-to-the-touch silicone.  It measures about 4 1/2” tall, 7 3/4” in diameter.  Needless to say, it is a little big to travel with.  But it actually packs a punch.  A 3000-rpm motor gets this baby vibrating quite well, almost as well as its plugged-in cousin.  Out of the box, it comes with no batteries, so make sure you stop and get some Cs (it takes 3 of them). Warning: the manual is incorrect on how to put in the batteries!  The lovely IKEA-like illustration shows an arrow turning the battery section clockwise to open. Wrong! Save yourself the hour it took me to open the battery compartment (and get it untightened) by turning the bottom counter-clockwise like you do to everything else in this world.

Once the frustration of installing the batteries wore off, I finally got to try out the toy. It has 16 patterns and an orgasm mode. I am not a big pattern girl, so I went straight to the orgasm mode. This is not a quiet toy, so if you don’t plan on announcing to everyone that you are having some 'alone time,' I would wait until the house is empty.  I tried squatting over it and found it to be about 3 inches too short for comfort on a bed.  My knees were not happy with me.  I didn’t give up though.  I decided that first test run would be a little anal stimulation.  I slipped the cone between my cheeks and rested on it (suggestion, turn it on first).  It felt really good. The Cone is all about external stimulation. For all of you with a toy-up-your-ass phobia, this one is for you.  I grabbed an additional toy, and I came really quickly using the combo. 

I do love a challenge and was determined to figure out how to squat on the Cone comfortably.  I grabbed my zafu (meditation pillow) and placed it under the Cone.  Voila! The perfect height for me to ride this toy for a while! I am sure it would work great with a wedge, too.  Next I tried the hard living-room chair.  Again, fairly comfy, and it hit the sweet spots fairly well.  My favorite sensation was just squeezing it with my thighs.  I think all you motorcyclists out there will understand.  The vibrations are strong enough to give you that subtle, sneak-up-on-you orgasm. 

The Cone has proven itself to be quite a bit of fun and, if nothing else, unusual.  The little manual gives you several different position options, and I look forward to trying a number of them.  The Cone is not a beginner’s toy.  It requires knowing positions that work for you as well as the ability to be creative in its use.  Final word to the wise, get the black one. The pink is a little TOO pink.