CARNAL NATION

Right around the time CarnalNation sent me the Spectral Glass Dildo, they also sent an email detailing some policies they expected their reviewers to adhere to, one of which was to try toys more than once before submitting a review. Now, I’m not saying I would only have used this toy once before reviewing it, but I’m human and as rushed and harried and neurotic as the rest of you, so it’s possible that might have happened. I’m really glad it didn’t. I can’t say for a fact how many times I’ve used it, at least five though, each time growing to enjoy it more.

First some specs. This dildo, while glass, is not Pyrex and, therefore, should not be subjected to extreme temperatures. No boiling or freezing, folks. It’s long—ten and a half inches long—but of a modest girth.  It’s lovely to look at, I enjoy toys that, if my daughter wouldn’t drop dead of humiliation, I could leave strewn on my coffee table like pervy objets d’art (Damn! That would make it super convenient for sofa masturbation sessions. Oh well, college looms in four short years.).

I’m often lazy about lube, and the first time I used the Spectral I did so using only my own juicy goodness. It was fine, but it was infinitely better the next time when I coated it with a nice, creamy dollop of Sliquid Organics. It slid in so much more smoothly. When I wanted to move it around my clit, the added lubrication made it glide around my clit slickly and sensually, making me literally sigh with joy.  As I worked it in and out of my cunt (just thinking about it now on the train, makes my pussy clench and tighten, an added benefit for sure), I found myself loving the curve and the firmness. I want something hard and unforgiving for G-spot stimulation, so glass and steel usually work well for me. The super long handle makes it easy to thrust with a greater degree of power—if you like that sort of thing and I really do—than you can with most dildos.  Pulling it out of my cunt, unleashed a torrent of wetness that soaked my sheets and coated the dildo in that thin, milky fluid I've come to associate with G-spot manipulation. This dildo is even long enough to bang into your cervix.  Some may like that and others not so much, but either way, it’s under your control, so that option is a nice one.

But by far, my favorite aspect of the Spectral is the way the head narrows and then flairs out into a secondary head before narrowing again into the long, slender handle. Once inside me, I love using this as a kegel exerciser. BONUS!  Squeezing tightly around it, then trying to pull it out, and finding that I have to pull damn hard or release my muscles to get it out, is just so damn hot to me. (And again with the very welcome tightening and tingling in my cunt, at least I’m smiling at 8 a.m.)  It makes me wish I had a cock so I could experience how amazing it must feel to be squeezed in a constrictor-like grasp.  And it makes me want to keep doing it, making my muscles even stronger, so strong that I can actually trap someone’s dick in there.  Mmm, did that sound toppy?  Maybe I’m more of a switch than I think.

The only way I’d improve this product is to suggest that it come with a padded storage pouch. I know I could buy one myself, but let’s be real: I won’t and I doubt you will either.  I’d pay a few dollars more to have that added convenience.  As discussed, it’s super long and so it has found its home with my rope, gags, sexy burgundy patent leather restraints and Wartenburg Wheel in my foot-long ForYourNymphomation toy case.  Hopefully, the rope will cushion it.

And do be careful when washing this dildo. It is glass and thus gets really slippery when soapy, and bathrooms are filled with hard and unforgiving surfaces.  Chips or cracks will render it unusable, and you really, really will want to use this toy for a long, long time.

I'm starting to get the feeling that the major goal of the sex toy industry is the complete obsolescence of the male body. All the latest gizmos and gadgets seem so much harder, faster, and stronger than plain, old bio-dick. I have to admit to some (but only some) twinges of guilt as I help to bring about this purported downfall of my own sex and gender, but with toys like the Spectral Glass Dildo, the sweet sensations beat out by far any associated bitterness.

One of the beauties of handmade glass dildos is that no two are exactly the same—just like real cock. Mine is stylish and light blue (dildo, not cock though that is pretty stylish, too, if I do say so myself). At more than 10 inches long, the Spectral makes fantasy into reality without any fears of erectile dysfunction. The dildo has an elegant, almost sinuous curve culminating in two heads. The first head at the extreme end of the dildo is a bulb with a gentle contour that mimics an actual penile head. The second head, just below the first, is graduated in girth and with a more abrupt and pronounced 'coronal ridge.' So are two heads better than one? I'm not so sure about that. With lots of silicone-based lube, the first head slid right in, eliciting one of those contented sighs. The second head was a bit more of a challenge, but that made the 'payoff' and resulting moan all the more satisfying. With both heads inside, it was fun to experiment with motion, pace, and, for lack of a better word, percussion. With more than 10 inches to work with, you could easily use either head or both to stimulate the prostate. The hard part for me came after I came. That pronounced 'coronal ridge' of the second head made an otherwise easy exit a lot more challenging; glass is, after all, somewhat less pliable than flesh. POP! I found the resistance and then abruptness of the extraction a little too intense in my post-climax haze. The first head (first one in, last one out) retreated from my insides smoothly and gently, again causing one of those contented sighs.

I'm certainly not going to let the rough play of the second head prevent me from getting the most from this object. As I tried the dildo over and over and over, I told myself that repeated entry and exit would wear down the ridge like running water over rocks. Yeah, yeah, whatever. So what if it takes a few hundred years and/or a few thousand entries. Anyway, that sinuous curve from the handle to the head combined with the length give you a variety of means for controlling your experience. The length opens up a variety of angles and positions that are either difficult or impossible with shorter, less versatile toys. Both the curve and length also give you some wiggle room for different kinds of motion, ranging from the old in-n-out to what I called above percussion—banging the prostate with one of those heads. I felt the beat, and I definitely had the music in me! After repeated test drives, my favorite position was sitting up with the dildo inserted and either rocking back and forth on it or driving myself crazy with the dildo as my gear shift. With all this practice, going into reverse has become somewhat easier and less jarring.

One of the most impressive aspects of the Spectral Glass Dildo is its weight. That is one solid, hefty piece of glass, and it is this heft that makes the p-spot stimulation so intense. As far as dildos go, this one doesn't have a lot of girth, but it doesn't need it. The weight and shape of the heads allow for easier manipulation and targeted stimulation rather than merely filling you up. In this case, it does come down to the motion of the ocean! And to use an old sailing term, my beautiful blue glass dildo is yar.

Usually when I get the notice that a toy is cummin' my way, it’s no frantic news for me. I always get excited, mind you, but rarely as excited as a pervy sex addict should be. This month, however, changed all that.

I received notice in my email that the Spectral Glass Dildo was shipping out. I clicked on the hyperlink to see what this new toy was about, and got so excited I nearly fasted until it arrived. After a daunting twenty-four hours (goddess bless inner-city mailing), I was relieved that, inside my package, was truly the most amazing, beautiful, and fantastic glass toy I have ever seen (this is actually a glass toy, not pyrex like most model, and must be dealt with accordingly).

So surprised, so titillated even, that I unwrapped my package, lubed it up, and got to work right away on “researching” my toy of the month. It was a pleasure beyond your typical moans and groans. To start, the shape of the toy is superb. This toy has been specially designed to render each user the most euphoric p- or g-spot stimulation known, and comes after being professionally blown just for you. As such, the perfectly curved and poppin' head slid right through my sphincters only to find my favorite spot. It hit so perfectly that I nearly lost my nut right then and there. Luckily, because I was so invested in my research, I held myself back from riding the Spectral Glass Dildo too hard too soon, and slowly started to work it around, in and out. The feeling of the curved head popping in and out of my hole was nothing less than magical. Granted, I’m pretty good at working myself, but this toy made it so easy, it made me almost jealous of its accuracy. At one point, in the heat of passion, I pressed the more robust shaft curve against the ground so it had more leverage in pressing against my g-spot. This, I found, was my most favorite position with the Spectral Glass Dildo, though, I’m sure, just one of many more to come.