CarnalNation

Have you been wondering about the best way to fund health-care reform? As long as Americans live by the eleventh commandment "Thou shalt not make the rich pay taxes," the best option might be bake sales. But hold on: Congressman Steve Buyer (R-Ind.) has an idea that might just do the trick—or at least he thinks so. Holder thinks that we should make people who do the deed without wearing a condom pay higher premiums. That's right: if Buyer has his way, barebacking will no longer be free.

Buyer proposed his idea during hearings on the health care bill in the Energy and Commerce Committee last Thursday. "Someone who smokes, drinks, participates in bad conduct and behavior, unprotected sex, maybe bad things happen to them, maybe they should pay higher premiums," Buyer said. "That is a radical thought, isn’t it?"

Buyer's plan inspires a few interesting thoughts in us. First, how does something like this get enforced? Will American bedrooms be subject to spot checks? Will receipts for condoms become part of your annual income tax submission? More importantly, will all unprotected acts be charged equally? Will there be different rates for anal, oral, and vaginal penetration without condoms, based on likelihood of disease transmission or pregnancy? And will tops and bottoms be charged the same?

But most importantly, why is a Republican named "Buyer" talking in public about what people should pay for their sex habits?