Do you get the quickie?



Triple Threat

I'd like to have threesome with my girlfriend and another woman. We (my girlfriend and I) both think it would be a good idea to bring in a professional: fewer jealousy issues, she'd be focused on our pleasure, we get to pick who we want, and she'd leave afterwards... without any awkwardness. The picking part is the sticking point.  How do we find the right woman to come play with us without getting arrested in the process?  How do we find somebody who isn't a flake? How do we negotiate what we want?

Do you have a question for the Perv Panel? By all means, please email us if you dare.


You asked for an opinion. Here are three.
Wannabe Three
Three's Company
Third Party Check

Ooooh! The threesome with your main squeeze. Very hot! Let’s start with the easy part of your question. Before you can negotiate for what you want, you have to have some idea what it is you want.

Before you invite a third, I strongly encourage you and your girlfriend to talk about what each of you hopes will happen, including any worries, concerns, and any boundaries either of you can think of. What's OK to touch, lick, suck, and fuck? By whom? How will you ensure that the sex you share is responsible regarding sexually transmitted infections? In case either of you feel uncomfortable during the fun, it’s good to have an agreement about how you will handle this. A safeword is always good. Then, when you find your third, you and your partner just ask for 100% of what you want, and you can also establish what you both do not want.

Now, how do you hire a pro and minimize your risk of getting busted? Well, the safest answer is to go to northern Nevada, where prostitution is legal. Assuming that isn't possible for you, just look in your yellow pages (or Google) for “escorts, entertainment, or massage.” You’ll find numerous sites of women who can be hired as companions.  Call the service and negotiate for exactly what you want.  Law enforcement is mostly trying to catch prostitution rings, not the casual johns and janes. That said, if you solicit sex from a cop, the cop will bust you. And don’t believe that urban legend that if you ask “are you a cop,” they have to tell you. They don’t.

Jealousy issues notwithstanding, in my opinion, you’d be better off finding your third the same way you find any date. First, you and your honey review every female you know, looking for anyone you both might like to play with. Sex with someone who cares about you, your relationship, and being able to look each other in the eyes later, is definitely hot, hot, hot. Can’t agree on a mutual friend? Go to your local watering hole and pick out one or two likely prospects. Either you or your girlfriend can go over and start flirting. When you get up the nerve, raise the subject. I think you can take it from there.

Chip August

Chip August

Chip August hosts a popular internet radio show (podcast) and blog for the Personal Life Media Network called Sex, Love & Intimacy. He is not a psychiatrist, psychologist or psychotherapist; however, he has spent the last 18+ years coaching people to experience more sex, love and intimacy.  He has also led personal growth workshops all over the world.  He is a trained and certified Hypnotherapist.  He has a private practice in Menlo Park, CA, offering personal growth coaching to individuals, couples, and families. Chip has studied philosophy, spirituality, and religion, and for a time thought he might become a rabbi.  He has since dedicated himself to finding languages to access and express his spirit.  He considers himself a “tri-sexual” – if it’s sexual, he’ll try it.  
Perv Panel
June 29th, 2009
PervPanel's picture
CarnalNation has assembled twelve people, whose diversity is matched only by their perversity, to form the Perv Panel. Each week, three of our resident perverts tag-team your most intimate questions...