Sex Disasters
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Friday, November 20, 2009 - 10:40am By Charles Moser and Janet HardyOh no! I forgot to take my birth control pill! Well, let's see. Today's Friday. When was the last time you took your pill? If it was Wednesday, you only missed one pill. Take the one you missed right now, today's pill at the appropriate time, and...
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Friday, November 13, 2009 - 9:18am By Charles Moser and Janet HardyThe earth moved. No, it wasn't an orgasm. I mean the earth moved! Neither of us has ever been in flagrante during a quake—which, given that we both live in San Francisco, probably tells you something about how often we get laid. So we checked...
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Friday, November 6, 2009 - 10:54am By Charles Moser and Janet HardyThe sex went fine. But now I've got this nasty itchy rash. Well, this could be a number of things. Most likely is that you're mildly allergic to either the condoms or the lube. It's less likely, but still possible, that you're allergic to some...
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Friday, October 30, 2009 - 9:42am By Charles Moser and Janet HardyThe first date was OK, but not all that great, and I didn't want to go out with her again. But now I'm getting all these emails and phone messages... At some point—and it sounds like it might be pretty soon—this sort of behavior will go...
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Friday, October 23, 2009 - 9:44am By Charles Moser and Janet HardyI was right on the edge... and my vibrator quit. Please, please, please, I want my vibrator back! This is pretty typical of the way electrical toys give up the ghost, says Uncle Abdul, author of Juice: Electricity for Pleasure and Pain. (Too bad...
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Friday, October 16, 2009 - 8:48am By Charles Moser and Janet HardyShe came. She screamed. She passed out. Fainting during orgasm, or orgasmic syncope, is one of those things that happens more often in porn than in reality. But it does happen in reality. Usually it's nothing to worry about. But, just to be on the...
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Friday, October 9, 2009 - 10:05am By Charles Moser and Janet HardyMy boyfriend was doing something reeeeally interesting to my balls—and suddenly I had this agonizing pain my right one and it won't go away. Ok. Unlike a broken dick, this is an emergency. Testicular torsion is a twist in one of the cords that...
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Friday, October 2, 2009 - 8:49am By Charles Moser and Janet HardyOwowowowowow! Vaginal penetration hurts me! This condition is called dyspareunia, which means "painful intercourse." An old doctor's joke has it that "dyspareunia is better than no pareunia at all," which has one of your authors...
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Friday, September 25, 2009 - 9:02am By Charles Moser and Janet HardyI'm pregnant, but I'm not sure who the father is. You're definitely not alone: DNA studies by paternity labs across the U.S. show that at least 10% of kids are not the child of the man officially recognized as their father. Nonetheless, it's a good...
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Friday, September 18, 2009 - 10:06am By Charles Moser and Janet HardyRrahhharraharrgh. [Translation: I was going down on my girlfriend and my jaw went out of joint.] This is a pretty unusual situation, but it has been known to happen. Don't try to push the jaw closed—the jaw joint is a delicate one and you don'...
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Friday, September 11, 2009 - 8:53am By Charles Moser and Janet HardyI've got something stuck in my peehole. The urology department in a major California hospital has a Hall of Fame of x-rays of stuff stuck in people-s urethras—pencils, toothbrushes, you name it. If whatever's up there is sharp or breakable,...
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Friday, September 4, 2009 - 8:30am By Charles Moser and Janet HardyThings were just starting to get good and he put on the condom... and then all of a sudden he turned red and started wheezing! A tricky situation. On one hand, turning red, heavy breathing, and sweatiness can be signs that your partner is very, very...
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Friday, August 28, 2009 - 9:07am By Charles Moser and Janet HardyThere were supposed to be three of us in that bed – her, me, and my erection. Only two of us showed up. And she probably told you that that it happens to all men sometimes, didn’t she? Well, she may not be absolutely right- somewhere...
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Friday, August 21, 2009 - 9:24am By Charles Moser and Janet Hardy"Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right." Woody Allen, Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, But Were Afraid to Ask (1972) And what that means is that you're frequently going to have to figure out to get Icky Stains out of...
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Friday, August 14, 2009 - 7:36am By Charles Moser and Janet Hardy[Publishers Note: We'd like to remind readers that the Sex Disasters column is taken from the book of the same name, that advice on the internet is no substitute for a real lawyer and that CarnalNation does not endorse or condone in any way...
